Thanksgiving Cards

So my mom has decided that the guy I went on a couple dates with is the one. She just bought him a card for me to give him on Thanksgiving. Let me repeat: A Thanksgiving card....what the?

He is a wonderful guy. And I'm haunted by the recurring theme that my mom is always right, but honestly the attention she is giving it is making me push away.  I am a control/perfectionist person and I like to decide things on my own...and I am very in tune with myself so I am always sure of how I feel.  I don't let what I feel interfere with what I know is best for me though, a habit in which a friend told me is my vice. 

So what I'm feeling: not as much attraction as I want. There isn't a heart skipping a beat or anything when I get a text or snapchat or phone call. I don't yearn for him.  I want a spark.  I fear I may end up using him for his kindness to help me not feel alone or worthless...something I won't allow.  I don't dig leading on so my mom is acting on this hardcore. She can probably sense me holding back and doesn't want me to have a "one that got away."

I don't know what I'm doing this time next year. I am not looking to settle down, I want to go on trips, I want to meet cute guys on airplanes (which happened... that never happens, but he was the most handsome person on the plane and he SAT NEXT TO ME...FATE. I legitimately blushed when walking by him while waiting to board). 

I've been praying about it. I need to approach a new angle to ask the Lord what his will is for me and this situation and relationship.  The other guy (the one who you just know isn't good enough for you) still pops into my dreams here and there. He's one I need to just let go but the attraction for him is strong...and infatuation. I love an intellectual conversation...if you slap a great smile on that and some good height...I'm done for. 

Stay tuned. Who knows what sort of care package my mom will have conjured up for me to send him when I get home from work today. I won't be trying on wedding dresses to entertain her...I'm feeling mean and distancing myself from our usual...I usually tell her everything. And I miss that. 

Forgiving Grudges

These are just my notes from an Andy Stanley sermon: Fight Club series. I wanted to have them readily available so I posted them on here! If you're feeling like it's time to rekindle embers, read through these and listen to the sermons-there are 4 parts but are well worth your time. 

Fight Club Series from Northpoint Ministries

Love and mine xo

Reconciliation Notes

2 Corinthians 5:18- All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself through Christ, not counting men's sins against them. 

God found a way to get into a relationship with us- and all sins, past and current, are still there. We're accepted without changing anything. 

God took sin off the table and reconciled with us while we were still messed up...not after an explanation. We operate under a different standard because as people we try to make people explain or justify.

I. Goal is reconciliation.

A. Reconciliation is not 
1.justifying your actions
2.being completely understood
3.convincing the other person they were wrong

B. Reconciliation is a relationship characterized by Acceptance in spite of past offenses and current differences. 
-Not about resolving the past, but about moving past the past.    
C. Objection: But what if they interpret my acceptance as condoning what they've done? Risk reputation to have reconciliation with people. Jesus did that. 
D. You have to decide if you're going to take a stand or build a relationship. There is a time and a place for both. 

 "I accept you." He didn't come to condemn the world. He came so the world could be rescued from the things that condemn us. Don't hide behind rightness and let that keep you from reconciliation. It's only a  way to avoid by keeping your self righteousness and pride above -its a bigger issue/obstacle to reconcile than the wrong performed against you. At some point you have to stop making your point and build the relationship. It's not up to you to remind them they were wrong. They have themselves for that-it's not your job to do that. 

Reconciliation paves the way to relationship, which paves the way to influence. Regain credibility and a voice. 

II. Strategy: Create a safe, relational environment

A. Prying and coercing don't work for turtles or people. Only way to connect is to create a safe relational environment\may take months or years.  When they feel safe and bring things up and know they wont be attacked is when they'll come out of their shell. When we feel safe, we're willing to be vulnerable and talk and will take responsibility for things we otherwise would not have owned up to.
B. Reconciliation is reached in a place of humility and acceptance, where it's safe. 
C. Reconciliation is not primarily about conflict resolution.

III. Motto: The best defense is no defense. 

-Defense is good when you want to win an argument or be right but not in rekindling relationship. 

-I know it's possible because the Lord did it with me, without any explaining or changes.

-Reconciliation often requires that we shoulder the consequences and complications of someone else's decisions. But if you think about it, we've all been on the receiving end of that kind of sacrifice. This is the gospel, and why Christianity is good news. 

2 Cor 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 

*No guarantee for a happy ending, but your effort will bring peace as well. Swallowing pride and extending humility goes a long way.

By George, I Think She's Got it

My Husband is Not My Soul-mate

This is the perfect embodiment of what I think about the "The One" and how that concept doesn't actually exist. 

Choose your poison wisely ;) Teasing but the above post is a Must Read.  

"There is no biblical basis to indicate that God has one soul mate for you to find and marry. You could have a great marriage with any number of compatible people. There is no ONE PERSON for you. But once you marry someone, that person becomes your one person...all that really mattered was that he loved the lord, made you laugh, and was someone you to whom you were attracted. The rest is frosting."

The Break Up Bench

So there's this bench. Right next to the only school library entrance and exit. I call it the break up bench. Why would this nonchalant, concrete, rectangular prism be labeled as such? 

It was an early afternoon on a Wednesday or Thursday. So school was bustling. My friend knew something was up with her then boyfriend. Out of the blue, in route to walking her to her car across campus, he asked her to sit down on this very bench. I presume that his severe lapse in judgement for time and place was due to an overwhelming emotional state. (Benefit of the doubt...)

At any rate, he began to tell my dear friend she was too good for him. He couldn't be the guy she deserved. He began to cry (No, not a type-o there-*HE*). Right there, in front of all the people around them. The macho 6'3" fellow lost it.  My friend was caught off guard and still had a sense about her before the reality of the situation set in; she stood up and commenced walking to her car, grabbing him to come along and escape the lime light. 

I walked up to the car where I found them both crying. Imagine that for a second. Yeah. The timing I have is absolutely impeccable. The worst of it is I didn't realize and said "Hi hello how are ya," like things were normal. When I was greeted with silence I looked up and immediately escaped the situation. 

Anyway, what I'm getting at with this story is God works in mysterious ways. He and her weren't meant to be, his heart wasn't ready or able to understand.  When you can love like Jesus does, people with pain and shame that don't know how Jesus works just simply do not feel worthy of time or affection because they hold you up above others. They respect you because you respect you, and they can tell your accepting heart is just a bit different, but we have to try to explain why without bible jargon sometimes.  

This boy was not saved, he didn't understand the love of God all too well. My friend tried to show him--he wasn't budging so she sort of gave up talking about it at all. BAD. He and I actually had some discussions and disagreements about atheism and belief and faith. I pray we planted some seeds for his own heart because our conversations never really went anywhere.  He had quite a wall up and instead of addressing what he felt shame for, he wanted to keep everything all to himself. 

No one should feel they aren't worthy of another's time.  I know what it feels like to be left out, and I made it a point in my childhood and now adulthood to prevent people around me from feeling left out. God doesn't leave anyone out, we all fall short, but he loves us all anyway no matter what we do.  It is such a freeing feeling to be able to confess our wrongs to someone greater than we are...and He always will love us anyway. No matter what we do.  Just acknowledging our imperfections is humbling and a relief.  If we hold the shame in our hearts, it affects our relationships with others as well as spreads hate because you're carrying that baggage around with you...all alone. 

The feelings of approval we crave I think comes from the Lord.  We all seek, want, and have desire for respect, encouragement, comfort, security, support, acceptance, approval, appreciation, attention, and affection.  It is only satisfied completely with a love accepted from Jesus.  Partners can try, but when they disappoint us it hurts worse than anything.  Thus the importance of a God-centered relationship-and all that means is both partners work on their own relationships with Jesus as well as their relationship together.

SideNote: Love Like Jesus Does by Eric Church is so well written in the sense that it shows what it means to know how Jesus loves. 

It's how we are to love each other too. 

End Rant. Love and mine!

Rule #11: Make moves. Danger Warning Caution...it's for the Better

So this is the second time I've asked. And it's no easier than the first...but, I prayed that the Lord would remove from my life those that are dangerous to me or bringing me down.

I started out accepting. I knew that folks would be weeded out one way or another-just like last time....but then I tried to hang on to a couple of them, just like last time. The ones I tried to keep that God was distancing actually worsened the relationship ties with those people and I burned bridges by being too forceful for the friendship. Weak sauce. I came across as desperate and insecure, which is a difficult person to trust.

So now I'm more involved at church, I don't drink more than one when I'm out (which is honestly not a change), and I feel refocused. And focused on me and my relationship with God-I know what I'm capable of and want to do, so I'm in a better place already! BUT because I was off the narrow path, I'm behind...I have a lot of catching up to do and D-Day is December 7th. The day of the LSAT. My goals are set high, and I want to please my Lord as he leads me with strong hands.

I'm so thankful for my faith. Everyday. To realize and correct it is the best feeling too, a sense of overcoming being lost is evident. I'm happier and more confident in what I do because Jesus is with me and I'm accepting Him again.

Thank goodness.

Lead Me by Sanctus Real :) Thankful for this song, too.

CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS; CAN'T LOSE.

Control Who You Fall For

With all of the engagement announcements and weddings coming up among friends, I was brought back to consider what I conjured up in my mind a long while ago...(I want to say middle school ish): you can control who you fall in love with. 

Now. I know folks love dwelling on the line, "You can't help who you love." Ohhh but yes, yes you can.

Who your time is spent with is who you grow relationships with, and thus leads to who you love (friends, boyfriends).  Be it with the frat star, friend-zone guy, the dropout, the bad boy, the christian fellow, the jerk, you name it.  You get to choose who you spend time with. You do! No one will force you to get on that motorcycle with that handsome bad boy guy to cruise casually up and down A1A as the sun is setting. Your curiosity may have wanted to be there, and you fell for it. By making time for him to leave a stamp on your heart and in your mind, you allowed your wall to come down. It gave you a story for your friends, sure, but
honestly the relationships that last are those out of the spotlight. 

But if you know your value, and are being honest, you also knew he wasn't good for you before you went. This applies to the girl who dates her friend's ex also.  She knows full well how much it will hurt said friend, so for her to DECIDE to pursue the ex pursuing her, that is a choice out of self, and not of love. That's a very sticky situation, but largely why I think it hurts so much. 

Self control comes into play, and as difficult as it is, you have to look out for yourself in these situations to guard your heart.  When it's tattered and sad, you're ultimately wasting your own time.  Time that could have been spent as the happy, unbroken you ready to meet someone new and better. 

The Lord tries to help guide you, but you choose your route. They say be young, be crazy...I say be young but don't be too crazy, because your past will haunt you. No matter what "they" say... "They" are also the ones that won't let you forget what you did, too.  Those are the people not truly looking out for your best interest.  The Lord, however, will forgive you because real "love keeps no records of wrongs." 

It does me good to re-read this verse, and helps me be real in realizing who loves me and who does not:
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...

What I'm trying to get at is to be intentional. Your time is not limitless, and you deserve to give it to the best. Especially now, because being young is powerful, and fleeting.  Choose your loved ones wisely. 

He took me Shooting

So there is the new guy. This one took me shooting....which just so happens to be what the other guy had promised me we'd go do a thousand times. But it never happened...

We went with his dad and brother, and it was fun. Well, some of the workers were crude and awkward but I thought they were funny.  Anyway, we actually went. And I didn't think of it until later how big of a deal that was to me...it was something I've genuinely wanted to do for so long, and I mentioned it one time-without expecting anything to come of it. But we WENT. Actions were taken! Intentionally!! My goodness to give time to someone is fine, but to spend time...that's another thing entirely.

It got me to thinking (shocking, I know). All that time talking to...let's call him Buck, he painted a picture in my mind-telling me all the right things that made him appear thoughtful, gracious, a solid believer, open minded-he was truly great with words. But in the end that's all they are: words. Buck didn't show me he cared, but told me he did...honestly he never showed me he cared at all which leads me to think he was curious and unable to be vulnerable...yet. Curious about the girl that is usually single. Curious about the girl that wasn't like the rest of them or getting drunk or dressing provocatively.  Quietly confident.  In the end, he liked the idea of me more so than actual me, so imagine his disappointment when I made a mistake. However he did get to know me intellectually because we talked. A lot. All the time. (BUT when I say talk, I mean text. The time I finally needed to speak words with him, he cut me out). 

Anyway, I say the "idea of me" because I reacted with jealousy and anger when he was all over another girl. Jealousy is an ugly thing. I was more upset with him for disrespecting me and my feelings by disregarding them completely.  Her as well.  I'm not sure if he thought I was perfect or what but I know myself and am far from that.  I never claim to be a "good person." I am aware of right and wrong.  For him to solely blame me for acting that way isn't fair, but it's the reality.

I went to the word. And prayed. And this is what I got: I was away from God and focused on all the wrong things. I didn't like who I was becoming and I was putting trust and faith in a person-not the Lord.  I realized this from the bible, as well as another blog I follow, Diamond Diploma, and it clicked because that's why Buck was so upset with me.  He had put so much trust and pressure on pedestal me-that when I fell, he was so disappointed and upset. All hope was lost and that made it easy to check out and move along to the new person.  He would not speak to me and acted like I was a horrible, terrible person. I felt horrible, but really, he was a large part of why I was acting the way I was, and he dodged all responsibility by pinning it on me.  We were both focused on the wrong person. We should have been focused on God and our own relationships with him.

Once we put our faith in people, we are doomed to be disappointed. Understanding that we all fall short, and fall often, makes it understandable and easier to accept apologies and issue forgiveness because we are no better than anyone else.  We have no entitlements.  It is not a sign of weakness to be vulnerable or accept apologies or issue them.

Rule #10: Figure it Out -THE WRONG GUY-

I don't know what my struggle is.

Actually I do. I just don't want to accept it.

So if you haven't already guessed, I'm talking about the wrong guy.  I enjoy his attention, and it is the female version of the chase high that guys get...we want to win them over and fix them. Be the one girl who he changes for, the one girl that calmed him down.  To have that strong of a connection with someone that they don't want to lose you and then they change right then....yeah that's far and rare between.

The truth, and all to real, actual version of the tale is: I'm investing in the wrong person..there's no real risk because I don't really ever plan on being with this guy.  He's Mr. Right Now.  It's just fun to keep it alive and is also challenging.  It's someone to tell your mom you're dating so she stops trying to set you up with that "nice" (truthfully strange) guy from the office.

It is obvious to anyone who uses their brain that that wrong guy has been practicing and developing all of the wrong kinds of skills. He won't know how to treat you, but he will know how to juggle a lot of things at once *ahem* because he is used to juggling several ladies all at the same time.  He won't know how to treat just one as special, and when the going gets rough-oh, on to the next one, because that's what he's been doing his entire dating career.

He gets what he needs from several sources, how will he be satisfied with just one?

Just consider that, though. Life is connected (bible says so). And that makes SENSE (not surprising).  What you have been practicing and participating in your whole life is all that you know how to do. Sure, there is learning and adapting and changing, but you know how hard it is to change a habit. Think of a bad one of your own; like nail biting, procrastinating, cracking knuckles, fidgeting, etc.   First you'd need to be aware it's a problem, then you have to be dedicated and conscious of it to alter it.  There lies the problem-the guys don't see it as a problem, but as an alpha trophy, a part of life...AND THEY'RE PROUD OF IT. The wrong ones...not the right ones. They do exist, again, pray for the right guys to stay on the narrow path and that you are patient in finding one that will seek someone like you. In the meantime...work on bettering you!

I sound like I'm merely justifying my jealousy and anger toward the inspiration dude of this post. The fact of the matter is, I am hooked on a phony.  He made me feel like a fool for caring, which is so wrong- and I got caught getting emotional. I do NOT wear my heart on my sleeve. Ever. And he brought it out of me, and I was catty. For the first time in my life I let my emotions (the female parallel of the male 2nd mind) take over my actions and I hate myself for it.  I don't like his effect on me-who he is shaping me to be- and Pastor Andy Stanley says in his sermons that it is important to be with someone who brings you up. Not down. That doesn't mean I don't like Mr. Wrong- unfortunately, there's not an on/off switch.  But my better sense now knows that he's not for me.

So off I go.

I'm leaving this post with this, Guard Your Heart. (PROVERBS 4:23) The bible warns us to,
and it really is so important.  If you aren't careful, you'll fall into foolishness, anger, jealousy, hatred, etc and possibly (and sadly slowly (so you don't see it creeping up and consuming you)) become someone you aren't proud of.  Don't let it get to that point and nip it in the butt while it's still early.  Before you make that regret that you justify.

In Honor of Father's Day...

A friend of mine sent me this, and I thought it necessary for sharing.

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I hope he votes—but as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart, he's good.

I don’t care if he's artistic—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I hope he believes and thinks the ways that you do—he needs to be raised to value the sacred, and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.


Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

Talking in the Wind

He is so affectionate. Told me he'd put me above the others, always. That "I knew that." He'd drop anyone for me. Says he respects me the most out of any other girl he knows. Even then he won't invest his time in me. His priorities are somewhere else, his actions show this clearly.  Or he's given up.  He speaks so highly of me to others. When asked by a stranger how he expects to ever win over a girl as lovely as me (that was SO flattering), with how he behaves, he can't answer. With saying all of this, I'm still struggling. What is wrong with me. I know better, I do. I still want what he says to be true. So badly. But why? What do I actually gain by winning him over? Nothing, I'd have nothing more than only sub par to what I actually need.

Need/Want.

Why do I invest all of this thought into him? He can't commit. I'll be left forever desiring more than what he could ever give me. I could even leave him heart broken. That'd be awful too.

He will never respect enough;
He will never be strong enough;
My heart will never feel safe enough;
He will never be man enough;
He will never make me better;
He will never make me feel like I'm enough.

He'll never be able to give me all that I need. That I desire. He knows how to do so many other things, but he won't ever be able to give me the most important things to me. God has blessed me with a very clear picture of what I need. A love like Jesus loves. And man is capable of trying to do this, to live up to this. That's what I want in a man. Apparently this vividness is not something everyone can see. Yet, I'm pushing this blessing of insight away.

I'm being stupid. I am struggling to let this go. But I'm praying, and even though it's hard, Jesus is making His moves for change. Against my will, but with better judgement and my better interest in mind, as always.


"It's all talk, talk, talk, talking in the wind. It only slows you down if you start listening."

What You Want, Baby I Got it (God Speaking)

Have you ever been in a situation where you don't do what you want to, at the expense of someone else?

Well. I have. And I've become extremely aware of it as of late. An example (among too many) is this very evening. I was excited to finally get to our Wednesday night group at church. It's new, and quickly growing too. My friend and I were walking up to go, when some of our other friends (from church, mind you) invited us to chipotle. My friend immediately said yeah, she wanted to go along...meaning we'd miss the bible study. Said friend knew I wanted to go, and this was not taken into regard as her stomach must have been empty and beckoning.

I had a choice I could make then. I could either proceed alone to the church group- Or I could go with my friends committed to chipotle. I let my friend dictate my path. I was left feeling embarrassed and shame for not going to church. And being surrounded by people chatting about others LOUDLY near where the bible study was carrying on. I was guilty though by association and it's on me. Visiting was great and fun, sure. But there's a time and a place.

I did not make today something that future me would be proud of.

With this post, I'm making a pact with myself. I was never one to follow, but to lead. The Lord has made me aware of these faults now, and I will be walked on no longer. I could be doing so much more and meanwhile, I'm asking for corn salsa in my burrito bowl. 

Follow your gut, it's your conscience and God teaches you what to do and you'll know what's right by getting in the word.

PS!

For some more insight and in depth about the right decisions (avoiding Mr. wrong..ahem..) check out Diamond Diploma's latest blog post, "Tough Decisions." I saw we had similar ideas after I had posted mine.

Just a thought...

I think indecisiveness is somewhat of a blessing in disguise.  It allows you to have patience, without intention of having any, to better decide what to do in a given situation.

Dating...A Lost Art

"Oh, we're dating."
Oh, so you're together?
NO. No, we are dating. Less pressure. Some try to call it talking. I call out many people on their form of "talking," which is actually texting. But anyway, dating looks like something that is losing color....almost as if it's a step that's skipped over thanks to our fast paced lifestyles, which is a shame because it's actually awesome.  Considered old fashioned even (which makes it that much more appealing to me, honestly).

The glorious dating period comes before FBO. It's where you build the friendship with the fella, and see how you get along together. This allows you to get a real grasp on who he is, what he's like, and what he believes.   Not to mention how he reacts to certain things..(ahem* like temper tantrums. Not cute).

Sadly, a lot of the time my guy and girl friends use the boyfriend-girlfriend exclusive stamp right off the bat. Sure, they get to know each other, while making relationship ties...driving them deeper and deeper into the honeymoon stage that is the beginning of a relationship.  Basically, everyone's on their very best behavior.  Then...all of a sudden, the true colors emerge.   If this ends badly, your fast paced trek to marriage is quickly interrupted by the baggage claim.  You get to claim yours, and his. And he, yours. 

I want you to see that dating is the best. You avoid that noisy mess I just mentioned. You get to focus on bettering yourself for when the right one does come along, and it keeps your mind clearer. (Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose ;)) None of this ~crazy girls unleashed~ madness breaks out, and it will help you keep friendships over creating enemies. 

To make dating work, you have to know what it is you're looking for, or else you fall for the wrong ones and end up with the jerks. There are so many too. The most. 

My Look For List is like this (similar to my Southern Gent...see a pattern here?):

1. Believes in God (similar to my beliefs)
2. Loves Family
3. Has a plan (career wise, looks to prepare for the future)
4. Leads
5. No short fuse (not easily upset or angered)
6. Heart-He's got to have the best heart. 
7. Not too serious. I need jokes! Mine are awful.
8. Passion for living life (a let's go on adventures type deal)
9. and I want to feel safe around them. With this I mean with my heart, myself, family and all. He protects you from regret
10. HOBBIES-when you're entering the working world, these things become very important. They keep you from having a redundant lifestyle. 

I date to marry. Plain and simple. I'm not about being practiced on (been told I respect myself too much, to which I say, "thank you"). Otherwise I'm wasting my time, and time is fleeting. We have less of it than we realize. 

With that said, pray for a prince charming. There are great guys praying for someone like you, too :) Here's some fun ideas, too for when you're planning to go out and about! 
77 Super Fun Dating Ideas

That "Southern Gentleman"

Good morning! So after devotions this am, I was considering the guys that have been reaching out to me as of late. In that stage of retrospect, I considered my own history. I realized (among many things...which will be later posts) that I always go for the fellas that have some sort of southern root to them.  Why is there is such a HUGE appeal for the Southern Gentleman?

I think it has something to do with their hearts...underneath all the plaid, ties, and camouflage, they were raised right by their God-fearing parents. This separates them greatly from the rest of the population who lack that kind of love.  They can show you their hearts because their confidence allows that.

Appropriately called the bible belt, these boys are born and raised to love like Jesus does. It makes sense that they'd know how to forgive, wait, direct anger, and love/care for others in a more selfless manor than that of someone who doesn't know that kind of love at all. And more than that, they know how to treat a lady. If they can find a Proverbs 31 woman, as described in the bible, and also on Southern Simplicity's blog, not only will their mama love her, but he'll love her too.  (HellOo approval stamp!) 

For your consideration: Are you who the person you're looking for, is looking for? 

Anyway-Not to mention...they aren't pansies. By any means. It's almost like this genre of men are the manliest of the men. They know their way around any hardware store, but can also whisk you away on the dance floor and melt your heart. 
By that last part, I mean that they are more likely to *not* have a fear of making fools out of themselves, as they are secure in their person. (Work that silly side y'all...life's too short to take yourself so seriously).

What I'm trying to convey here is what I'm looking for, and how difficult it is to find. However, when I do meet someone who falls under these attributes, they stand out like sore thumbs. The Lord rewards patience, though, so I'm awaiting this kind of a man: 

1. One who can lead. 
He should be a spiritual leader.  I want a man that will be strong in faith and keep care of his family by showing them the love of the Lord. It may sound silly to some, but if he loves Jesus more so than me, I would be the most happy. MOST. 
2. One who can put others before himself.
This doesn't mean get walked on, or not take care of themselves. But Andy Stanley has a wonderful sermon on staying in love (Listen to his podcast....I do oh so often and he's wonderful (Staying in Love Part 1).  This means he is willing to make sacrifices for the ones he loves. 
3. One who lives.
This is quite vague. But, it's a big one. The thought of a mundane, boring life is one that I am seeking to avoid. Someone who lives is one who appreciates the Lord's creation around them. I have an eclectic array of random things I enjoy. If we can live life together, and it involves adventures together, I'm there. One who understands living in this sense also knows time is limited. He has drive and ambition and can confidently care for his family. Yes, it's a responsibility that requires character. Not all can handle this task as well as a God-fearing man. 
4. One who believes what I do.
If they don't match up with me this way, I push them away..and fast.  So I give the guy a chance. If he's brave enough to ask, I'll go on a few dates, but I usually know right away how it's going to go.  I'm not about to lead him on if I'm not feeling it.  Just the same, I wouldn't want to be led on either. P.S. All is not fair in love and war. That's among the worst justification sentences in the history of life. A God fearing man is the man for me!

I just started dating someone who emulates each of these points. We've gone on a couple dates. It's too early to tell...but I'm sure it's about to inspire some writing.