Rule #10: Figure it Out -THE WRONG GUY-

I don't know what my struggle is.

Actually I do. I just don't want to accept it.

So if you haven't already guessed, I'm talking about the wrong guy.  I enjoy his attention, and it is the female version of the chase high that guys get...we want to win them over and fix them. Be the one girl who he changes for, the one girl that calmed him down.  To have that strong of a connection with someone that they don't want to lose you and then they change right then....yeah that's far and rare between.

The truth, and all to real, actual version of the tale is: I'm investing in the wrong person..there's no real risk because I don't really ever plan on being with this guy.  He's Mr. Right Now.  It's just fun to keep it alive and is also challenging.  It's someone to tell your mom you're dating so she stops trying to set you up with that "nice" (truthfully strange) guy from the office.

It is obvious to anyone who uses their brain that that wrong guy has been practicing and developing all of the wrong kinds of skills. He won't know how to treat you, but he will know how to juggle a lot of things at once *ahem* because he is used to juggling several ladies all at the same time.  He won't know how to treat just one as special, and when the going gets rough-oh, on to the next one, because that's what he's been doing his entire dating career.

He gets what he needs from several sources, how will he be satisfied with just one?

Just consider that, though. Life is connected (bible says so). And that makes SENSE (not surprising).  What you have been practicing and participating in your whole life is all that you know how to do. Sure, there is learning and adapting and changing, but you know how hard it is to change a habit. Think of a bad one of your own; like nail biting, procrastinating, cracking knuckles, fidgeting, etc.   First you'd need to be aware it's a problem, then you have to be dedicated and conscious of it to alter it.  There lies the problem-the guys don't see it as a problem, but as an alpha trophy, a part of life...AND THEY'RE PROUD OF IT. The wrong ones...not the right ones. They do exist, again, pray for the right guys to stay on the narrow path and that you are patient in finding one that will seek someone like you. In the meantime...work on bettering you!

I sound like I'm merely justifying my jealousy and anger toward the inspiration dude of this post. The fact of the matter is, I am hooked on a phony.  He made me feel like a fool for caring, which is so wrong- and I got caught getting emotional. I do NOT wear my heart on my sleeve. Ever. And he brought it out of me, and I was catty. For the first time in my life I let my emotions (the female parallel of the male 2nd mind) take over my actions and I hate myself for it.  I don't like his effect on me-who he is shaping me to be- and Pastor Andy Stanley says in his sermons that it is important to be with someone who brings you up. Not down. That doesn't mean I don't like Mr. Wrong- unfortunately, there's not an on/off switch.  But my better sense now knows that he's not for me.

So off I go.

I'm leaving this post with this, Guard Your Heart. (PROVERBS 4:23) The bible warns us to,
and it really is so important.  If you aren't careful, you'll fall into foolishness, anger, jealousy, hatred, etc and possibly (and sadly slowly (so you don't see it creeping up and consuming you)) become someone you aren't proud of.  Don't let it get to that point and nip it in the butt while it's still early.  Before you make that regret that you justify.