Fight Club Series from Northpoint Ministries
Love and mine xo
Reconciliation Notes
2 Corinthians 5:18- All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself through Christ, not counting men's sins against them.
God found a way to get into a relationship with us- and all sins, past and current, are still there. We're accepted without changing anything.
God took sin off the table and reconciled with us while we were still messed up...not after an explanation. We operate under a different standard because as people we try to make people explain or justify.
I. Goal is reconciliation.
A. Reconciliation is not
1.justifying your actions
2.being completely understood
3.convincing the other person they were wrong
B. Reconciliation is a relationship characterized by Acceptance in spite of past offenses and current differences.
-Not about resolving the past, but about moving past the past.
C. Objection: But what if they interpret my acceptance as condoning what they've done? Risk reputation to have reconciliation with people. Jesus did that.
D. You have to decide if you're going to take a stand or build a relationship. There is a time and a place for both.
"I accept you." He didn't come to condemn the world. He came so the world could be rescued from the things that condemn us. Don't hide behind rightness and let that keep you from reconciliation. It's only a way to avoid by keeping your self righteousness and pride above -its a bigger issue/obstacle to reconcile than the wrong performed against you. At some point you have to stop making your point and build the relationship. It's not up to you to remind them they were wrong. They have themselves for that-it's not your job to do that.
Reconciliation paves the way to relationship, which paves the way to influence. Regain credibility and a voice.
II. Strategy: Create a safe, relational environment
A. Prying and coercing don't work for turtles or people. Only way to connect is to create a safe relational environment\may take months or years. When they feel safe and bring things up and know they wont be attacked is when they'll come out of their shell. When we feel safe, we're willing to be vulnerable and talk and will take responsibility for things we otherwise would not have owned up to.
B. Reconciliation is reached in a place of humility and acceptance, where it's safe.
C. Reconciliation is not primarily about conflict resolution.
III. Motto: The best defense is no defense.
-Defense is good when you want to win an argument or be right but not in rekindling relationship.
-I know it's possible because the Lord did it with me, without any explaining or changes.
-Reconciliation often requires that we shoulder the consequences and complications of someone else's decisions. But if you think about it, we've all been on the receiving end of that kind of sacrifice. This is the gospel, and why Christianity is good news.
2 Cor 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
*No guarantee for a happy ending, but your effort will bring peace as well. Swallowing pride and extending humility goes a long way.
